I love you Rachel Roth
by JapaneseClute
Summary: I remember the day I unofficially met Raven before I joined the Titans. I remember the rainy day Rachel Roth broke my heart.I had pulled a pen out of my pocket and wrote what I had just said out loud to her empty chair on the inside of the book cover. At the end I added five simple words.'I love you Rachel Roth,' I then signed it Garfield Logan. *BBRAE*
1. Chapter 1

**I got bored and kind of had this idea. I've had major writers block recently regarding my other stories. I just liked this idea. I love the Beastboy Raven ppairing.**

**DISCLAIMER**

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**Beast Boy's p.o.v.**

I remember knowing Raven before I joined the Titans. It was when I had first come to the city. It was ultimately my first heart break. I remember everything from that lonely rainy day in the library. I hadn't known who Raven Roth was. I only knew I was looking at a beautiful girl.

I remember sitting quietly in the library. She was at the table right next to me. She was reading as she does to this day. Her phone rang. She picked it up on the third ring.

"I said don't call me anymore!" She said with an annoyed tone into the phone. I could hear a deep guys voice on the other end, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. She slammed her phone shut. I stood up and walked toward her.

"Uh... Uhmm.." I mummer looking at her. I turn around and pace back towards my table. She was just so beautiful. I look at her again and open my mouth, but I was interupted by the ringing of her phone.

"I told you not to call me again ok!" She said and hung up once more.

"Uhhh," I sounded like an idiot, but she didn't notice at all. She heaved a sigh, and stared at the table. Her face wasn't showing any emotion except for the fact she was annoyed.

"I uh..." I try again, but make no progress. She still didn't notice me. Her phone rang again.

"I said don- Oh. You do? I feel the same way. Ok. I'll meet you out front. See you in a few minutes." She said through the phone. She stood up, and gathered her books.

"Oh hey," She said smiling at me. I frowned in defeat, and stuck my hand up.

"Hi," I say back with a soft smile. She walked out. I went over to the chair in which she had been sitting, and imagined she still there.

"Hey there I noticed you over here looking a little sad. I was thinking a girl with such a pretty face should never look so sad. I'd be honored if you'd allow me to take you out for some coffee." By the end I had tears falling down my face. My heart ached. She had left a book on the table. It wasn't a library book. I opened the front cover of it. It said Rachel Roth, and with that I was able to place a name to such an angelic face. I pulled a pen out of my pocket and wrote what I had just said out loud to her empty chair on the inside of the book cover. At the end I added five simple words.

'I love you Rachel Roth,' I then signed it Garfield Logan. I placed the book back on the table. I exited the library with nothing, but a broken heart. The words my ears had picked up on the phone rang in my ears. "I love you Rae," The mystery man had said.

Some months later when I joined the Titans I met Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven the girl under the cloak. I wondered what her face looked like under the hood. It wasn't until a week or so later that the hood fell off. I stopped shocked it was the face of Rachel Roth. I immediatly ran to her side to help her fend off the bad guys. She didn't look very happy, but I didn't care. I knew I'd die for Rachel Roth if it came to it.

I wonder if she got the message I left for her in the book. If she did she wouldn't know it was from me since we didn't share our real names. Maybe it was fate that we were brought back together, or maybe it was torture. Torture that I had to feel that heart break over and over, and she'd never understand. At the same time I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to be so close to the person I love.

It was raining today. Just as it was on that day many years ago. Raven was hustling around. I offered her a smile.

"Hey Rae, where's the fire?" I asked her.

"I have a date today Beastboy. Thanks for asking." She answered. My heart dropped to my stomach.

"Oh, well uhm... Me too. I have a date too," I say not very confident. She stops.

"Whom with?" She asked quickly.

"Uh... Just a girl I met at the pizza place." I answer slowly casting Raven an uneasy gaze. Raven nodded before muttering she had to leave. I sighed. It was probably that guy from that day. I can't say I blame him. Who wouldn't love a girl like her.

I exit the tower, and make my way to the library. I haven't been here since that day. I make my way back to the very same table that she had been sitting at. I pull my pocket knife out of my pocket, and start carving something into the table.

When I finish I smile with my eyes tearing up. The spot on the table said:

**"I love you Rachel Roth"**

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**One shot or not? Is the question. Review for critiquing and to tell me if I should continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hai guise! I'm on vacation, but good news here's chapter two of a non oneshot story :D**

**DISCLAIMER**

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**Beastboys p.o.v**

A week has passed by, and now all the Titans are aware of Raven's relationship with the mystery man. When announced Cyborg had looked at me with empathy. As my best friend he knew of my feelings for Raven, but I could never share with him that moment in the library. I felt that that was one thing I still had to myself.

Raven became increasingly more aggitated as we tried to find out more about this mystery guy. I tried my best to hide my jealousy and sadness. I was always casting nervous glances over my shoulder since Raven is an empath and all. I don't know if she noticed but never said anything, or if she wasn't giving me the time of day. I can't blame her. She's perfect. If that guy ever hurts her I'll find him.

"Hello Friend Raven!" I heard Starfire exclaim. I smiled softly.

"Hello Starfire," Raven said back smoothly.

"Do you wish to talk about the boy problems?" Starfire asked her. I listened more closely. I didn't know there were problems.

"Things are great Star. There's nothing to worry about. He's great. Really sweet, kind, genuine, and considerate. He wrote me a love note once. Do you want to see?" Raven asked her. I was about to cry. I just wanted to scream out that I wanted to see the note. I wanted Raven to see my good sides.

"I see. That is his name there at the bottom is it not?" Starfire asked.

"Yes, but you can't tell anyone," Raven said in an urgent tone. My eyes lined with tears. I turned and walked away. I didn't need to hear anymore. My heart hurt to the extent that love can shatter it. I exited the tower, and sat by the rocks. I picked up a stone, and just threw it in not bothering to skip it. The tears fell down my face. I stiffled a scream.

"So do you want to tell me what's wrong now?" The voice of Raven sounded behind me.

"Don't worry about it Rae I'm fine," I said trying to smile, but only causing more tears.

"May I sit?" She asked. I nodded and put my head in my knees. She wasn't susposed to see me so weak. She sat next to me.

"What's wrong Beastboy? Don't tell me nothings wrong when you're crying infront of me, and I can feel your sadness from a mile away." She told me. I shook my head which was still burried in my knees.

"Don't worry about me Raven. I'm just a little hurt, but it's nothing I can't tough out." I tell her, but my voice was slightly muffled by my knees. I felt her hand on my back. I just wanted to pull her into a hug. I wanted to hold her, and call her my own. So I did. I pulled her into a hug, and she squirmmed uncomfortablly. Who could blame her? I let her go, and stared into those beautiful amethyst eyes.

"I-I should go..." She trailed off. I wanted to ask her not to leave. I wanted her here with me. She slipped her hood up, and walked away. When she was gone I allowed myself a smile. She had put her hood up fast, but not fast enough to hide the slightly pink color covering her cheeks.

I got up to leave when I heard a guys voice.

"What was that Rae? I thought you loved me!" I got closer to see Raven and a guy talking.

"I do love you! I was just comforting a friend." She said to him. Just a friend struck me hard. Almost as hard as the I do love you. I'd heard enough. The guy was attractive. Probably every girls dream. I turned and morphed into a hawk. I flew away screaming, but as a hawk my scream sounded like a hawks cry. I just wanted to disappear.

I didn't return to the tower that night. I had flown out of the city, and into the woods. I just needed a break. It was cold out. I morphed into an animal with a big fur coat, and curled up to sleep. Sleep did not find me easily. I was much to hurt to sleep. I actually considered leaving the Titans for a little while. Maybe a few days away would do me good. I look in my pockets. I don't have much money. Just $33.57. I groan. I'd have to find berries in the woods.

"Friend Beastboy? What are you doing here?" I heard Starfirre sound behind me.

"Star..." I mutter turning to face her, "I'm just taking a break."

"Why?" She asked. Of course she would.

"Just from someone," I say half heartedly.

"Is it friend Raven?" She asked. Was she a mindreader?

"Yes..." I tell her truthfully.

"I see you have the 'crush' on her. Correct?" Yeah this girl had to be able to read minds.

"Yes, I do. If you haven't noticed she has a boyfriend that she loves. I could never compare." I tell her. I can feel my heartbreak intenseifying.

"Friend Beastboy, I understand the feeling of the crush. I know of it with Robin." Starfire said to me. I wasn't shocked to hear about her feelings for Robin.

"Who sis he?" I asked her sounding desperate.

"I do not know his name. I will figure it out. I will tell you." She said.

"Thankyou. How did you find me?" I ask her.

"Well friend I came here to pick the berries from that bush of berries for my glorknorg. Everyone at the tower is worried since you did not come home last night. They are searching for you." She told me.

"Oh, ok." I said. I picked up my communicator. "Beastboy calling Robin," I say with a lack of emotion. He was going to be so mad.

"Beastboy! Are you ok? Where are you?" Robin asked me.

"Just fine, and with Starfire." I say starring hollowly at him.

"Report back to the tower at once," Robin says before hanging up.

"Rodger." I saying huffing my breath. I look at Starfire. She smiles softly and motions for me to go. I turn into a hawk, and fly in the direction of the tower. In all honesty I hadn't realized how much time had passed. I guess I'd lost track of time while thinking. Maybe I'd even dozed off. I arrived back and entered the tower. I was confronted with Robin.

"Where have you been?" He asked me.

"I had buisness to attend too last night," I tell him.

"You can't keep secrets from our team. If you have buisness you need to tell us," Robin said in a cold tone.

"Why do you care?" I shot at him feeling the rage building within me.

"We're a team Beastboy. We have to look out for eachother," Robin said softening up just a little.

"You want to know the truth? I love Raven! I love her much more than you know. I've loved her since before the Titans. Now she's dating this guy, and I heard him say she loved him!" I said in a raised tone. I knew Starfire wasn't home, Cyborg stepped into the kitchen out after my little outburst, but where was Raven? I looked around for her.

"She's not here BB," Cyborg said.

"I had no idea Beastboy. I'm sorry," Robin said putting a hand on my shoulder. I stared silently at the floor.

"Hey Beastboy look up. She can't date that loser forever right?" Cyborg put his two cents in.

"I'm sorry guys. I shouldn't have told you all that. I'm just torn over this." I told them

"Torn over what?" Raven's voice spoke up behind me. I looked at her with my eyes growing watery.

"I broke my favorite video game," I tell her with a little smile, and a hushed voice. Cyborg looked at me with sympathy. Robin patted my back.

"I think you're making a big deal out of nothing," She said as a matter of factly before walking away. I didn't see Raven for the rest of the day. I had talked to the guys for a little while then I went to my room. That night I heard footsteps approaching my door. Something was slipped under it. It was a video game. It had a note on it.

**I know this wasn't your problem on the rocks, but here maybe this will help your issue today.**

**~Raven**

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**Review if you want more!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Writers block. Sorry guys.**

**DISCLAIMER**

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**Beastboy's P.o.v.**

I played the game that Raven had bought for me over and over again. I'd beaten it within a day or two after recieving it. As stupid as it sounds it sort of holds sentimental value. Raven and I haven't really talked that much lately. Cyborg's been teasing me about my crush. It always put a little smile on my face.

Raven has recently been sitting in the living room writing in a book. In an attempt to be humorous I asked her if she was writing a little fanfiction. That earned me a little hardee har har from Cyborg. Raven had explained it was her diary in an annoyed tone. I sighed defeated that I could not make her smile. I just went back to my game playing.

Today Raven left her diary on the table. She was out with her boyfriend. Robin and Starfire were at the mall. Cyborg was out getting parts for the T-car. I eyed the book with curiousity. I was tempted to read it. Beyond tempted in fact. I ran a gloved hand over the cover. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I cracked open the cover. I took a look at the first entry.

**Dear Diary, **

**I started to date a guy by the name of Robert Martain. He's really nice, kind, and sweet to me. I like that. Not everyone is. A lot of people actually fear me. Who could blame them? I scare myself too sometimes. Robert and I spend a lot of time together. I like spending time with him, and he claims he loves me. I believe him. Though he gets angry with me. Is it really worth it? Especially if I love someone else?**

I slammed it shut. I'd read enough. I place it back on the table and go in my room. Robert Martain. I could place a name to that face now. I lay on the bed trying to imagine what they were doing right now. I close my eyes, and sleep finds me.

I'm awoken by someone shaking me.

"Come on BB we're going for pizza!" Cyborg said. I open my eyes.

"Ok, ok. I'm coming." I tell him using the annoyed tone Raven always uses. I follow him out to the T-car. Everyone piles in the car, and we ride in silence. We reach the pizza parlor within 10 minutes. Everyone immidiatly starts to chatter. I look at Raven who was quiet as always.

"How was your day Raven?" I asked her.

"It was fine you know. I went out with my boyfriend, and we had a good time," She stated in her normal monotone. I didn't get a chance to answer her before Cyborg and I got into our usual arguement about pizza toppings. The out come was always the same though. I got veggie lovers, and he got meat lovers. I don't know why we even debate anymore.

When the pizza came we all tore in. The pizzas didn't last very long at all. I was satisfied with my stomach filled. We returned back to the tower. It was about 9:45 when I decided to go sit on the rocks, and look at the city lights. I walked down to the rocks, but soon realized that I wasn't alone. Raven was sitting on the edge of the rocks. There were random explosions in the water.

I looked at the water then at Raven. I realized that she had tears running down her face. I walked a little closer.

"May I sit with you?" I asked her. She turned her head towards me.

"You should go. It's not safe to be near me." She said weakly. I sat anyway.

"What's wrong Rae?" I ask her.

"My boyfriend dumped me," She said trying to slip into a monotone.

"That's terrible! Why would he dump a girl like you?" I asked her.

"Why wouldn't he? Especially when I couldn't be faithful. I had feelings for another guy all along." She said with fresh tears streaming. I had read that in her diary.

"Who is he?" I ask her quietly.

"I don't know him in person," She whispered. More water flew up. Her emotions were everywhere.

"What's his name Rae?" I asked her. She looked at me for a long time before she barely whispered,

"His name is Garfield Logan."

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Is that a confession I smell? Review for more!


	4. Chapter 4

I have massive writers block

DISCLAIMER

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I stood frozen. Garfield Logan was my name. What would Raven do if she knew it was me? I stared at her puffy red eyes. I close my eyes and begin to recite,

"Hey there I noticed you over here looking a little sad. I was thinking a girl with such a pretty face should never look so sad. I'd be honored if you'd allow me to take you out for some coffee,"

Ravens eyes snapped up. She stared at me with her mouth opening slowly. There was a glimmer of recognition in her eyes. I continued,

"You see , I have known you for much longer than you may remember, and ever since I laid my eyes on you I have loved you. I remember how sad you looked in the library that day. That guy that kept calling you. I remember the note I wrote you,"

I pulled her into a hug. She was shocked of course. A big rock to the left of us glowed black then burst into a million pieces. I hugged her as tightly as I could. In her ear I whispered,

"I love you Rachel Roth."

I felt her relax slightly in my arms. I could tell that she was crying again. Who would've guessed that Raven actually could let her walls crumble. I found it gar to believe that all of this was actually happening. A million different thoughts ran through my head. I held her close. We stood there for what seemed like forever. I wasn't ready to let her go when she faded from my arms. She had used her powers to teleport away from me.

I sighed, and sat myself down on a rock. I stared out over the water. Everything in the world could go wrong right now. I think of all my previous love interests that I tried to use to distract myself from Raven. A whisper escapes my lips,

"Terra," I shake my head. Everything with her went wrong. I'm afraid bad things will happen with Raven. I stare at the city lights. I can't help but smile slightly despite the odds. Raven actually loved me.

I stand up. It was time to return to my room. I enter the tower, and make my way there. I pass Raven's room first. I can hear her inside silently weeping. I tap my knuckle on the door three times.

"Rae?" I call. She doesn't answer me. I closed my eyes, and pressed my hand to the door. She was moving. I could tell she was standing just infront of the door. Wondering if she should open it or not. I remove my hand from the door, and continue to walk down the hall. Not now. Not tonight. She wouldn't be letting me in tonight. Though she wanted to.

I got back to my room, and drifted off into a welcoming sleep. I was worried about Raven, but I knew it'd be ok. We'd talk about it tomorrow. I promised myself I wouldn't let anything go wrong.

I awoke in the morning. I smile Raven's emotions hadn't blown up the world. I sit up, and get dressed and ready to for the day. I go to the common room where everyone is carrying on with their daily routines. Everyone except for Raven who wasn't in the room at all.

"Where's Raven?" I asked.

"She left this morning." Robin said without looking up.

"Any idea where she went?" I asked him. He shook his head. I groaned.

"Thanks anyway," I tell him heading for the door. I needed to find Raven. Droplets of rain fell upon my head. I made my way into the city. It was dark and gloomy just like the first day. I knew where she would be. I picked up my pace, and made my way to the library. I knew she'd be there I could feel it.

I turned the corner. There it was. I stopped short of the door. Would she want to see me? She'd probably been imaging who Garfield Logan was. Is she disappointed the it's me? I close my eyes, and push the door open. I stroll to the back of the library where the table we met at was. My suspicions were confirmed. There she sat. Her fingers were tracing over the table. She had an uneasy expression over her face, but at the same time she looked perfect.

"Does the wood feel nice Rae?" I ask her with a slight smile. She looked up at me. No emotion on her face. I hold my hand out to her.

"Will you let me show you a good time today?"

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Wish I could've written you guys a better story. :/


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